Humour

WHY ATHLETES SHOULDN’T BE ROLE MODELS
 

• New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

• And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.” 

• Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” 

• Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” 

• Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with Don King: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.” 

• Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a colour photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.” 

• Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” 

• Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record in 1992: “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” 

• Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.” 

• Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been coloured in yet.” 

• Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: “I’m not allowed to comment on lousy no good officiating.” 

• Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: “It’s basically the same, just darker.” 

• Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.” 

• And the gem: Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips responded: “Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.”

Forwarded by Subscriber GMB, Florida

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