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HOG-TIED, HOG-WALLERIN’, HOG WILD HOGWASH
There are a lot of
things I don’t say -- a lot of comments I pass by. Partly I
do that because I have a duty to judge others in charity, partly
because I have too few facts to judge the case , and partly because
any comment might subject me to the same charge or suspicion of
self-righteousness. Anyway, I try to avoid liverish observations,
because I am way too good at it already and might fall into the
habit.
Nonetheless, I need to
clear my craw here. It overfloweth.
HOGWASH
Hogwash
– it irritates me down to my toenails, and tidal waves of it
flood the Internet. The Internet needs a bouncer on the door
carrying a big uglystick to pound the snot out of these people and
keep ‘em out. They float some speculation, then anchor a story to
it as if it were an acknowledged pillar of the universe, build an
aircastle skyward from there, and then pose next to the completed
invention as a public benefactor.
Into this class I put
all the unnumbered stories that resemble the “Currency Call In.”
You know this one, that next Wednesday at 4:30 p.m. the US
government is about to issue new multicoloured currency at a 10 for
1 ratio and you’d better trade in all your dough tomorrow for gold
or walnuts or something or lose it all next week. These stories are
all told breathlessly, as if the re-teller had been a fly on the
wall at the Federal Reserve Board of Governors meeting when the idea
was hatched.
Now the themes of these
stories are legion, but the meaning is always the same. The story
involves a looming crisis about to grab you unless you go out and
protect yourself by committing some lunatic act this very day.
Another trait these
stories share in common is their lack of verifiability. They
never cite statistics, or give you references you can check out to
verify their chain of reasoning, they just leap from assertion to
conclusion to speculation like a dry-footed cat hopping on
steppingstones across a creek. Some people – especially in the
hard-money world – have made themselves acknowledge experts using
this method. I want to scream, “Look, it doesn’t matter how
cogent your argument is when you refuse to give me any facts or
references to back it up! Without that, everything is just
chin-boogie.”
I don’t know why, but
the hard money community – the whole universe of people who invest
in gold, silver, and precious metals stocks – is liberally populated
with these hogwashers and their gullible natural prey. Just like
the boy who cried wolf, they’ll blow out your adrenal glands if you
listen to them very long, so that when something important happens
you’ll miss it. No day dawns when they can’t hatch a new crisis, a
new conspiracy, a new cosmic catastrophe – that fizzles out to
nothing.
HOG TIED IN A HOGWALLER
As little as the first
class of hogwash can be excused, the second class can’t be excused
at all. It consists of the people who sell or promote things they
have a hidden interest in. Of course every salesman has an
interest in selling what he sells, but his interest is disclosed.
You know up front what he’s doing, and you can filter his message
through that lens. I’m talking about people -- analysts,
reporters, managers, editors, brokers -- who promote stocks or
particular investments when they secretly own a position in
it and never disclose it. Whenever you hear somebody
promoting a gold or silver stock or even a physical metal
investment, ask yourself why that? Verify his claims from
another source before you buy.
SURE-FIRE HOGWASH
REPELLENT
There’s only one
sure-fire hogwash repellent: think for yourself. Before you
take anybody’s word on any investment, check out their
claims for yourself. Check with other people and other sources to
get a second opinion. Verify the claims and the claimer. If you
haven’t got time, inclination, or ability to do that, then you will
remain the legitimate prey of hogwashers everywhere.
-- F. Sanders
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