The Moneychanger

Franklin Sanders - The Moneychanger -
 
 

Dear Readers - Letters From the Country

Dear Readers:

Christmas is coming, the hog is getting fat, and I’m usually stuck for Christmas gift ideas. Here’s a great one if you want to give someone a taste of the South: Smith’s Farms in Cullman (actually Holly Pond), Alabama. Years ago my parents discovered Smith’s Farms and we’ve been enjoying it ever since. Their ham equals any country ham I have ever eaten, but their bacon is the best I’ve ever tasted (be sure to order it with the rind on). Smith’s Farms’ sausage ranks as their most unusual product. First, it contains a lot of lean, then some magic takes place in processing that gives it the most faintly acidulous finish that wipes your palate plumb clean. (An Illinois friend of mine hovers dangerously near addiction to that sausage.) Smith’s Farms also packs up gift boxes with grits and honey and other great stuff Yankees don’t normally get to eat. Try Smith’s Farms, 4785 US Highway 278, Cullman, Alabama 35055. To order, call (888) 300-7987; (256) 737-0505; fax (256) 734-1327. You can also order through their website, http://208.55.3.192/cgi-local/shoptmc.pl/SID=022422/page=http://www.countrymeats.com/.

THE MONEYCHANER LOGO

Where does the Moneychanger logo originate? Flemish painter Hans Memling painted the portrait, called "Man with a Medal," about 1475. I use it because it depicts an Italian banker (the merchant bankers of that age) and because he is a dead ringer for my friend and attorney, Larry Becraft!

ELECTRONIC MONEYCHANGER

Yes, you can receive your Moneychanger electronically every month. Just go to our website, http://208.55.3.192/cgi-local/shoptmc.pl/SID=022422/page=http://www.the-moneychanger.com/, and sign up. There’s no extra charge, and you still get the hard copy version.

PRINCESS

I hate the sudden shift from Daylight Savings Time. One day you’re feeding your pigs at sunset, next day midnight.

A few nights ago I got my comeuppance for my anti-pig remarks last month. Have mercy, it’s hard to love pigs.

Princess, our sow, is curiously coloured. She is mostly white like a Yorkshire, but just on her eyes she has black spots – just the size of her eyes. So help me, it looks like she’s wearing too much badly-applied mascara and false eyelashes.

It was hard dark, except for the light from our streetlight. A pig is an appetite with four cloven hooves. Pigs are a pain to feed because they won’t step back from the trough long enough for you to pour it full. That engenders all sorts of dodging back and forth to fool them. As time passes and the pig snot accumulates on your jeans, it also engenders a certain irritability on the part of the feeder toward the feedees. Said irritability has been known, in certain irascible individuals, to seize the lower leg and foot with a vigorous kicking motion. Patience dies.

So fumbling around in the dark I am dodging pigs and trying to fool them. I pour a little fermented rice juice in one trough to pull them off, then race over to another to fill it before they follow. As I am leaning across the electric fence, Princess hustles over to the trough. Although it’s dark, I can see her white form. I halt as I am about to pour.

Her whole face is turned up, those ridiculous mascaraed eyes staring at me through the false eyelashes. Her aspect is so hopeful, so pathetic that it fills me with compassion. Yes, for a pig. I’m almost sure I heard her say, ""I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. Why aren’t you?"

If you still think this is a story about a pig, read it again.

CLEO HAS PUPS

As I write the soft, regular snores of Cleo, our Great Pyrenees, are thrumming in the background. Why, you ask, should she take up residence in my office?

Simple. On the night of November 6th, during a cold rainstorm and outside the warm doghouse Ellen had built for her, Cleo gave birth to six pups. One was born dead; one died the next day. The mewling of another led Zachariah to him in the dark, wet pasture, so him they have named "Lucky."

The next day Ellen, Justin’s wife and Chief Canine Midwife, decided Cleo looked "depressed" (?!?). She bundled up Cleo and the remaining four pups and took them to the vet. He diagnosed a slight infection (not mastitis), and recommended we feed the pups every two hours (for two days) on a special formula.

Never underestimate the sympathy of women for their kind – I mean, one female for another. If they are mothers and offspring are involved, the reaction pulls them in like a junk yard magnet. That’s probably why Ellen, Susan, and Liberty all ganged up to feed the pups, leaving Cleo free to snore her way through the day. Actually, Cleo is a fine mother, nursing the pups and doing all the other things that mothers do for pups. To tell the truth, I just love the wet dog smell that Cleo brings back from her frequent trips outside, the smell that has taken over my workspace. Only Susan gags.

TENNESSEE HOMECOMING

We all (Susan and I, seven children, three spouses, and three grandchildren) drove up past Knoxville to the Museum of Appalachia for Tennessee Homecoming the weekend of October 12 & 13. The picture shows me with grandson Tucker on my shoulders, Justin with son Elijah, and Liberty with Bedford (looking the wrong way) on her back. Not only did we get to see all sorts of mountain crafts, there was more old-time and bluegrass music than anybody could possibly take in.

Oddly enough, this fall the trees have had glorious colours. As dry as it has been, I expected all the leaves to just turn brown and rattle to the ground. Not so! Everywhere we drove there was a riot of colour.

FINALLY – RAIN!

We had one little sprinkle in September. Other than that we had been dry back into July. Last weekend we had a bonfire and camp-out in our sunset pasture. Being the old guy, I now camp only on a Sealy Postur-pedic, so Susan and I adjourned about 10:00. That night I woke up thinking, "That sounds just like rain on the roof." Sure enough, it rained slow, steady, and soaking all night long.

And all the next day. And the next, for about a week. First it wouldn’t rain at all, then it won’t stop.

I’m not complaining. I’m grateful for the rain. Anything is better than eating that dust.

Enjoy the fall!

Franklin

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